Over the years, I’ve cleared dozens of ghosts from my house. Some come back, but few remain for long. However, something extraordinary has been happening in the last few days. My most recent haunting is a woman dressed in white, which considering several nuns used to live here, is a rarity. But that’s no surprise, neither is the clarity of her voice, when a simple “hello” in my ear has been enough to make me leap from my bed. What’s disturbed me the most are the false memories, and one in particular, when I spent the day in the basement continuing my endless task of renovating our home.
It wasn’t until the evening that I began to remember a conversation with a strange lady, who asked what I was doing. I explained I was staining and varnishing a door. She continued in the same vein, pointing out all the changes I had made to the room and the mess I had left on the floor. She said I should be more organised and look after my tools, which is good advice when I come to think about it.
But the conversation never happened; it was implanted in my mind after the event.
Spirits and shadow creatures have plagued me since I was a child. Some have asked for help and I’ve done what I can, others have been angry, goading me into a psychic confrontation. What you can’t do with malevolent ghosts, is show fear, that’s the number one rule. They feed off extreme emotion, especially fear. Some have even explained the difference between positive and negative psychic feedback. Love is like heroin and anger like cocaine, but fear is a trip and can last many hours.
Many encounters begin the same way, testing my patience and seeing how far they can push, hoping for a quick return. Because it takes energy to appear here, to communicate with the living, and some remain drained for days or even weeks. However, the mysterious figure that has been following me around and even speaking out loud doesn’t seem to need a supply. It appears that somehow they have their own.
Independent manifestations are generally demonic, and what I mean by that, is that they have never lived as mortals in the waking world. Contrary to popular belief, many remain neutral, and however subjective the terminology, are neither good nor evil. Some become frustrated, even jealous of human beings and their material existence, and of course, I have experienced many terrifying encounters in my life. Although, and I cannot explain why, but I know that this entity was once human.
The difference between myself and many other empaths is that I feel I understand demonic forces far more deeply. Ethereal beings have with and motivations, that experience timeless bouts of extreme boredom and frustration. Like many of the dead, demons only wish to communicate with what they perceive as strange beings living on ‘the other side.’ Obviously, there are far more powerful and dark forces at work, and so intent on destruction I have come close to death at least a dozen times. But I have made friends and allegiances with ghosts and High Jinn, beings who are well aware of my unique talents, and time and time again we have collaborated and held back fearsome intruders and interlopers from chaotic space.
I have had several long conversations with two High Jinn. Both appear as shadows, one has antlers, and the other, far taller, has a head that is crowned by what appears to be thick branches of a tree. I believe the latter is a highly powerful being, and although it refuses to describe itself in terms of rank, I know that it is far more evolved than its counterpart. It once asked me to sit down in a dream and explained the unique hierarchy of the dead, noting the echelons of power that reigns over the afterlife. It went on to say few humans have the patience or the fortitude to accept its insights at face value.
Yet even they have never mentioned what I am experiencing now, an encounter so benign yet so surreal it is almost impossible to describe. On numerous occasions, I have been disturbed during my slumber and awoke to hear voices arguing amongst themselves. Sometimes Jinn and lost souls will choose one of their own to represent their group, but in general, most remain highly disorganised. In the past, they’ve physically touched me, running dozens of hands up and down the sheets of my bed. It’s almost as if they were conducting some kind of ritual, and desperate to lay claim to my mind and body.
Some have come close to success. Beings that have almost overpowered me, especially during a suicidal period of my life. Yet since then, I have lost all my fears, I am immune to their influence, and have even caused some dark spirits pain. Except now things have changed. The dead, the Jinn, and even lower demons regularly come to me in my dreams and during the day. Many of them prefer to remain silent and observe, absorbing human experience vicariously. One mentioned that I could drain them of the little power they have, and from that, I can experience their memories.
But not this time, not the woman who haunts me now, for she is so different I am having trouble in understanding her presence, let alone her intention. The Jinn and demonic beings are expert chameleons, and as I have mentioned many times before, they can often fool the recently dead. They take on a familiar guise, playing the part of deceased relatives and friends, which is very useful if you want to persuade somebody to pass through the tunnel of light. (If you’re going to come back here, go ahead; otherwise I would steer clear.)
Yet, I can find no ulterior motive when it comes to my latest dead companion. She, like all living humans, is a conscious and independent being. A rare state of existence in the aether, and one almost impossible to achieve on the other side without an influx of energy from the corporeal realm. Until recently, she limited herself to whispering “hello” in my ear, and so clearly that at first, I was convinced that there must’ve been somebody nearby. I’d even explore the house just in case I might catch a prankster at work, But this was no joke, this was deadly serious, and whoever she is, I genuinely believe she has come here to reveal knowledge to me that thus far I cannot possibly comprehend.
I experience glitches in time, and I have travelled through my past and met myself as a child, I am well aware that it is possible to transgress the false order of the linear narrative we believe to be time. In death, you will discover that everything happens all at once and that everywhere exists in the same space, for we are all mere aspects of a greater consciousness discovering itself through a highly sophisticated process of self-analysis.
We are the cells of the universal mind, we course through time and space in the blink of an eye, yet we are unaware of anything else, but our limited field of perception and ultimately remain in the dark. I hope to receive more false memories. It is the only way I can determine the nature of this mysterious woman’s existence. It seems, that she, unlike ourselves, and even the dead, neither exists in the Here nor the Now.
I hope to say more in time, should she reveal herself fully, for I believe that this only the beginning of a new adventure. A new journey that will surpass my time here on Earth and far off into the future.